The gift of support

Today I worked in day 4 of the Beth Moore study: the gift of support. I was so encouraged by this lesson and how Beth emphasizes that spiritual victories are sweetest when they are shared with others who've prayed and helped along the way. I had to chuckle when I pictured Moses, Aaron and Hur in this verse Exodus 17:11-12 "As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning but whenever he lowered his hands the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up -one on one side, one on the other - so that his hands remained steady till sunset."

How funny it must have seemed with these men 2 of them holding his hands up.  It makes me think of a commercial for deodorant. 

So I wanted to share a victory with you all too. For those who don't know yet I am expecting our second baby. Every day since I've found out the news I've been so grateful for the journey I've been on over the last year that has brought me here. When I went through the miscarriage last summer God brought many of you to me as my support, sharing similar stories of loss. And as I waited on Him impatiently for this blessing now I also had the many prayers and support to get me through the waiting. I struggled with bitterness and anger with God over the situation and not understanding why I was where I was. Then finally one day I repented of my anger with Him and received a true peace that I know came from Him. 

I am still in the early stages - about 7 weeks now and the fear of miscarriage lingers. However I have had such a peace about it that I don't worry about it. I know that God had been working on me the last year so I can completely trust this into His hands. And that to me, is such a great spiritual victory that gives glory to Him. Thanks for all your prayers, they did avail much!

Joseph's windfall

Today I read Genesis 40 & 41, story about Joseph and his interpretation of dreams for the cupbearer and baker. I thought it was neat that when they asked him to interpret their dreams he answered “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams.” (very much like Daniel's responses when asked to interpret dreams). 

And he requested that he remember him when the Pharaoh removes him from the dungeon and puts him back in his position, but of course the cupbearer forgot....for 2 years. I wonder if Joseph was really counting on this light at the end of the tunnel. How disappointing that must have been for Joseph, but how quickly God works and turns a whole situation around in His timing. Joseph had to wait for a while to get out of that prison but all of a sudden one day he's out and made ruler over Egypt. Talk about a windfall! I enjoy stories about God working out all circumstances to be good. 

Bearing fruit supernaturally

Continuing on from yesterday's verse (John 15:5) "if a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit." This verse took on a deeper meaning for me today as I studied the lampstand in the tabernacle. Beth Moore draws the parallel of the oil in lampstand that fuels the fire to Jesus sending the Holy Spirit to fill our light. Matt 5:14. As she goes on to describe how when we are filled with the Holy Spirit we produce the fruit of the spirit supernaturally. There's nothing we have to or can do to produce this fruit on our own. We just have to ask God to purify us and make us a vessel fit for His presence. It is good for me to realize those attributes, particularly the ones I struggle with, come ultimately from Him.

Doubting to a deeper faith

God spoke to me this weekend through Pastor Graham's message, regarding doubt. He says "doubt can be a doorway to deeper faith." Hmmm. I never looked at doubt that way. I always thought, doubting is bad...gotta find a way to stop doubting, somehow. But it dawned on me as I reflect on my struggles over the last several months. How God was using that doubt to deepen my faith. It is amazing to look back at God's work on your life and realize how He turned a difficult and painful thing into something that carries me forward. I may encounter even more troubling times ahead and I would only be able to endure it through faith, one step at a time. 

Pastor also challenged us to exercise our faith. I've heard this before but always wondered how to apply it practically. He gave some examples in giving, or serving. And I realized that as I've reached out in faith to serve by teaching in Nathan's preschool class, I've suddenly come to enjoy it. I look forward to teaching and seeing those little faces every other week. It's just amazing how God turns things around when I keep saying to Him "No I can't do it." 

You can imagine my delight as I read: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I love hymns. Don't get me wrong I love the new and latest worship songs as well, they're so filled with passion and provide a very worshipful experience. But something about the majesty of hymns seem to give God that glory He deserves. And I can manage to sing hymns without shedding a tear because it doesn't become overly emotional. :)

One hymn I have been humming over the last couple of days is "Great is Thy Faithfulness"

Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me

Psalm 86:15 says But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Sometimes I am just floored by God's faithfulness to us, to me, and to His people. I am glad that His faithfulness is not something I just feel, but I can count on, and hold on to as a promise. He is always faithful even when we are not.

There is none more beautiful

I would definitely rejoice to see those flowers bloom. How we wish to see the seeds of faith we sow in our children grow! Even the seeds of faith we sow in our own lives personally I long to see the fruits of that and hear my Lord Jesus say one day, well done good and faithful servant!

I was encouraged by this today in my bible study. 2 Cor. 7:10 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." Beth Moore outlines how we can know true repentance, not by blithely asking God to forgive my sin (which I do all the time!) but to ask Him to give us a godly sorrow for our sin. That was quite an A-ha! moment. Often with my sin, I convince myself that I should hold onto it, just in case my circumstances don't change. But that makes no sense to God. He wants us to let it go, give it to Him. When I finally picture myself in God's shoes then I realize and have sorrow for that sin.

Also, as spring abounds around us, I am excited for the wonder it brings, blooming flowers, animals, nice weather, Easter activities. But something in my heart always reminds me that Easter, with all its pastel colored eggs and fuzzy bunnies is about the cross of Christ. That sorrow that all the world's sin was brought upon this one man, Jesus Christ. But how sweet that salvation is when we bring forth that repentance.

On a side note, I thank you for your prayers, ever since Thursday I have felt a definite peace that I know comes from the Lord. I can't explain how I got it, I just feel peace in my heart.

Thankful Thursday

Today I did my homework for the Beth Moore study. She wrote about the procedure of the OT sacrifices; how the person offering the sacrifice had to place one hand on the head of the animal and the other to slaughter it. It's so sad to think that your sin would cause this innocent animal to die. I just can't imagine taking the life of this poor animal and being right there to witness the life go out of it. 

Needless to say I am so thankful that Jesus died for us so we would have to be doing those sacrifices today!